List at least five resources that should become available immediately for victims of peer abuse.

We use the term abuse and bullying synonymously. An interesting side-note is that current reports indicate that 899,000 reports of child abuse are confirmed annually. In response to that appalling data, our society has created multiple resources and responses – including child abuse investigation services, national data collection, foster care and adoption programs, respite care, termination of parental rights, permanency planning, case management, counseling, prevention services, et al. costing billions of dollars.

For bullying, or peer abuse, which is estimated at between 5,000,000 and 8,000,000 cases annually, there is no national strategy in place. As of this writing 45 states have passed anti-bullying legislation but there are great variations in the bills and many mandates provide no monies or accountability to ensure enforcement of the legislative elements.

Bully vs. Bullier . . .How do you see it?

There are some who have suggested that we should not label children as bullies, that we should talk about children who engage in bullying behaviors lest we stereotype a child who is struggling to find a sense of personal power in a powerless arena. There are some who say that almost every child has been a bullier and/or been bullied and the roles are quite interchangeable. To that point, Dorothy Espelage, Ph.D. of the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign says: “Nearly 80 to 90 percent of adolescents report some form of victimization from a bullier at school, and kids who bully a lot also say they’ve been victimized.” Dr. Espelage believes that we should describe bullying as a continuum of behaviors rather than label any child a bullier, non-bullier, or victim.

A colleague, Lynne Lang, is suggesting that we use the term “bullier” rather than bully. She feels that referencing the behavior rather than the label is less judgmental.

Which term, bully or bullier, works best for you? Why?

Give as many reasons as you can for students to become targets.

When students are asked why some of their peers become targets, they usually reply: “Because they are different”. However, the list of differences they identify is almost endless – everything from weight and height to hair color and skin color to lack of agility or too much ability. By the time we vet the list, everyone in the class fits into at least one of the categories, so being different cannot be a legitimate reason.

Discuss what we can do to help witnesses “do the right thing”.

What about those children who witness cruelty and feel helpless to alter the situation? If you can’t protect others, can you ensure safety for yourself? What are the lifelong effects of guilt brought about by not speaking up?

Numerous parents have described childhood situations in which they were acutely aware of a classmate’s raw wounds and did nothing to intervene. Some have even shared poignant stories of having joined the group assault for self-protection. As they watch their children endure the indignities of others, they are racked by painful memories of their own sins of omission and commission. Share your experience as a witness to bullying.

The National Education Association estimates that every seven minutes of every school day, a child is the victim of bullying, and 85% of the time there is no intervention by other students or adults. Over 280,000 students are physically attacked each month at high schools. One third of all students say they’ve heard another student threaten to kill someone. One in five reports they know someone who brought a gun to school. Yet, many teachers and school administrators tend to underestimate the problem, which peaks in middle school.

Why do you think bullying peaks in middle school? Why do you think teachers and school administrators tend to underestimate the problem?

Give three reasons why bullying should be considered peer abuse.

Based on their bullying prevention work over these many years, Fried and Sosland maintain that bullying is a form of child abuse – peer abuse. If a child is hurting, it doesn’t matter if the perpetrator is a parent or a peer. If a child is suffering, it doesn’t matter if the source of the pain is someone who is thirty-five or twelve years of age. No child deserves to be abused – by anyone.

Sexting

Studies indicate that 20% of teens admit to participating in sexting, though sending such pictures is illegal. An Assemblywoman, Pam Lampitt, of Camden, New Jersey is sponsoring legislation that would give teens an opportunity to avoid prosecution for first-time offenses by completing a diversionary program. Lampitt, wants to teach teens the potential consequences of their actions without giving them a permanent criminal record. “We need to create a path that puts education and forgiveness before arrest and prosecution, “ says Lampitt.

Do you agree with Assemblywoman Lampitt’s legislation? If so, why, if not why not?

Discuss at least five steps that should be taken to prevent and remediate bullying.

At a meeting of the American Bar Association House of Delegates in February, 2011, a Resolution was passed that urges federal, state, tribal, territorial, and local officials to prevent and remediate the existence and dangers of bullying, including cyberbullying, and youth-to-youth sexual and physical harassment. The Resolution continues with numerous steps to be taken for the prevention and effective intervention of bullying.

Discuss at least three reasons why you think sibling bullying is more of a problem than peer bullying?

When students are asked, “Which troubles you the most – sibling bullying or peer bullying?” many students say that sibling bullying is more hopeless because the “bullier” is never going to move away or be expelled. If a parent prefers one sibling over another or if an older sibling is given authority, such as babysitting, and uses that power to torment freely, with threats of retaliation if the victimized sibling reports the abuse, they have no recourse. Concerned responses from students, professionals and parents are convincing evidence that this issue bears more study and clearly, more action.

Discuss three reasons that may have led researchers to conclude that the sibling relationships was the most violent of human relationships.

David Finkelhor, a sociologist at the University of New Hampshire, reported that 35% of children had been hit or attacked by a sibling in the previous year. Vernon Wiehe, author and researcher claims that 53 out of every 100 children abuse siblings. Murray Strauss, an esteemed sociologist and researcher in the field of family violence, concluded that the sibling relationship was the most violent of human bonds – more than physical abuse of parents to children or husbands to spouses.